Happy 2013

Hello Friends...

Happy New year to you!

 

This past year is waving goodbye and I am not sure if I am ready to let go.

This year brought us some hard times,

but sure brought us many Blessings as well.

Nate had to be away a little while for work, but was brought home safely to us

and for that I am grateful.
This year taught us a lot about patience, about love, about loss.
It taught us how to be strong, how to love better.
We are forever learning...that is a good thing.

 

We celebrated, We mourned, We grew.

We said many goodbyes...to pets, to sweet, dear neighbors, to precious loved ones.

Cameron became a teenager,

 struggled with bullies and triumphed over difficult circumstances,

 Ethan started high school, taught himself how to play the drums,

 and knew heartache for the first time,

Madi broke out of her shell, and found a passion in

gymnastics.

I got the privilege of being a stay at home mom since June

and while I have been looking for work,

 I have treasured every minute that I have been able

to be with my 3 wishes.

 

God has a plan for us...

We are only to be obedient and wait on His timing.

I tried some new things this year and

feel ready now to let some old things go.

 

I want to accomplish some good things with this little blog of mine,

I want to be more intentional in my writing.

I want it to touch others, to mean something,

to grow, to matter.

Thank you to all of my readers,

You have blessed me more than you know. 

 

I don't know what is in store for my little family,

but we are ready.

My prayer for the new year is that

my children continue to grow in Christ

and give more than they take,

That I am obedient to what the Lord

would have me do,

and that we are able to be with family more.

 

I pray each of you have a safe and Happy New Year

and that God blesses and keeps you.

 

Would love to hear from you,

please share your dreams, goals and wishes for the new year!

 



On this day...

Just 10 days before,

 I had brought her home. She was wrapped in pink and smelling of the best smell I know.

All was right and safe and secure in my world.

I sat nursing her and staring down at this little person that I had already loved

for nine months while she grew inside of me.

I remember watching my two little boys play and how so

innocently they loved and shared.

Giggles and sounds of  happy life filled the living room.

I remember feeling so at peace, so complete.

Then

it happened.

On this day

a phone call from Nathan asking if I was watching the news.

I wasn't.

I remember turning  on the television and crying in disbelief that this event,

this horrible thing was actually happening

right at that very moment.

I watched, like everyone else, as the first tower fell,

and then the second.

I thought of my relatives and friends who were in the city,

in my head,

 quickly trying to remember who lived where?

 Who worked in the towers?

I remember the plane crashing into the Pentagon,

and then the next to the ground.

I remember thinking how much more?

I remember feeling sick, sad, shock, angry, and confused.

How could this happen?

Why did this happen?

On this day

we remember what was taken away from us,

 what we lost.

We remember all the lives that were taken to soon,

all the lives that must go on without their loves.

We remember those who so bravely went in,

while others ran out to safety.

On this day we honor all who helped, who served,

who were so selfless.

There have been monuments and movies to honor these hero's.

It will never be enough.

The loss was too great.

To the wives, the husbands, the children, and the parents,

It will never be enough.

 They live forever in all of us

who remember

on this day.

So much loss, so much saddness.
For me...
so much joy accompanied these sad feelings,
I looked down and around me and saw new life, I saw hope,
On this day
I look at my little girl who just turned 11,
I am filled with emotions as I hug her before she goes off to school.
My daughter rememebers,
I remember
Where she was
on this day.


May God bless each of you today.
I would love for you to
please share what you were doing on this day.


 

 

 

Random heart thoughts

                               

Right now my heart is full...full of love, full of sadness, full of willingness to create and connect with others.   I feel as if for the last few weeks I have been walking around in a fog. When your child is sick, it takes over every area of your life.  Ethan being sick the last few weeks has really made me appreciate how healthy my family has been and how blessed we are. I am so grateful that Nathan is home with us, I probably would have fallen apart. 

 As we celebrate the 6 week birthday of our puppy Marshmellow, my Sister and her family are mourning the loss of their beloved dog, Babar.  My heart has ached for them this week.  I wish I could say or do something to bring comfort to them.   

Their loss has started me thinking about something I have not written about yet...for fear that Madi and Cam would find out, but they don't read every blog I write so.. 6 weeks ago our beautiful little

Cocoa actually had three puppies not just one.  We were away from the house and  when we returned home, Ethan and I had found two puppies not breathing and one puppy laying next to Cocoa.  Cocoa had the other two puppies in her bed. They were clean and placed so lovingly it seemed.  Ethan helped me take care of everything.  We called Nathan to tell him the news and we agreed that we would not tell Madison and Cameron about the two puppies that had died.  We knew they would not handle it well and Nate wasn't home yet and we thought it would be best.  Ethan was so brave and so helpful and when we finished cleaning everything he went upstairs and had a good cry while I wept in the laundry room. I felt so bad for not having been home to help Cocoa.  Then I just held Cocoa and told her how sorry I was... I felt so bad that I was not home to help her and I told her that I would take care of those two little puppies.  I felt like she just knew what was happening but didn't want to believe that she had lost her babies. Cocoa kept going over to the puppies and checking on them...almost waiting for them to take a breath.  It never happened.  We told Cam and Madi that Cocoa had one puppy and that they would get to keep her...Then we named her.

We never know what others are going through and sometimes we fail to see how truly blessed we are.  I think it is easy sometimes to lose sight of all we have, especially when our focus is on something we don't have.  We, out of fear, sometimes hold ourselves back from gifts or opportunities. For instance,  I am fearful, I am fearful to take the leap and shoot people...with my camera that is.  My head plays all these games with me. You know the game where your head says, "you are not good enough to do that". Ugh...I hate that. 

 I believe that God wants to fulfill the desires of my heart, I also believe that I hold myself back. My heart is full, full of love for my family, my friends, for strangers who, like me, feel fearful at times.