Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Letting go

He is 17.
I call him E.
He made me a mom,
A proud one at that. 
He walked early and talked early
Hated to sleep. 
He loved dinosaurs, Halloween, being on stage
he loved making people laugh. 
He is smart, 
He is a guys guy.
He's tough 
He is busy these days with play rehearsal and college admission paperwork
And making time to just be a teenager. 
In May 2016 My first born will graduate from high school.
He will be going off to college. 
He will be leaving home.
I'm not ready.
I'm struggling.
I'm excited for him and this next chapter of his life,
I am not ready to let go.
How do you let go?
I can't imagine not seeing him every day. 
I can't imagine the quiet, (no drums being played).
Letting go
Is a part of life
I know this in my head
My heart does not understand.
For now I cherish each day,
I may hug a little longer,
He doesn't seem to mind
It has me thinking
Maybe I'm not the only one 
Having a hard time
Letting go.

Friday, September 19, 2014

Parking lot Blessings

   Blessings can be seen anywhere...even in a parking lot at 10pm. 
   I should start by saying that  I am admittedly a bad friend.
 I love my friends dearly, however,  over the years I have been horrible about keeping in touch.
 Life's happenings just seem to take up my day to day
 and I lose time over the little things...
which are the big things.
I am not good at schedules, I am notoriously late,
 I am more of a "fly by your seat" kinda gal.
 So when you run into a friend
while you are picking up your daughter from a volleyball game
 and you get to visit and pray together,
 it is a blessing.
When your friend stops in to your office just to say hello and chat for a few moments,
 it is a blessing. 
 These unplanned moments are some of the most special moments.
I consider myself one of the luckiest girls as I have delightful friends
 that are supportive and love me just the way I am,
flaws and all.
These moments are given to us as gifts. 
 Maybe because God knows our hearts, He knows we want those connections,
yet are not good about making them on our own sometimes,
puts people in the right place at the right time,
to connect with us
  to bless us.
That we can hopefully bless.
So thankful for parking lot blessings.


Sunday, May 25, 2014


I need your help 2014.
I need you to slow down. 
I need you to be kind.
I would like you to be sweet to my children
so they will look back on this year
with happy hearts.

I welcome you to bring us new opportunities.
I want to learn new things this year,
I want to push myself and reach goals,
even the ones that my brain tells me are unattainable.
I want to be brave.
I want to serve more.
I want my children to drink you up and
really taste every minute, to revel in the moments.
 To  let their hearts be full
learn from mistakes that might not be made
if they play it safe.
To help us take chances
to let their HOPE soar.

As we near summer break
I pray over them with a reverent heart,
For grace, for mercy.
I think about my 16 year old driver,
my football player
my girl who wants to do it all...

Let them be little,
Let them have fun,
Let them help others,
Let them be brave,
Let them be safe.
Let them remember to enjoy each second.

The Reason

Our Easter looked much different this year.
As our children grow,
 our holidays are celebrated a little differently.
It isn't necessarily good or bad, just different.
This year,
it was less about baskets and egg hunts
and more about Jesus.
I mean our children have always known
the meaning of Easter
This year it was really the focus of our day.
Where getting dressed up for photos and church,
then home for egg hunts and basket digging
was once  the order of our day,
Sugar highs prevailed,
This year we cherished just being together,
discussing what we heard in service,
Turned our eyes to Him.
Our day started with a service that
was both meaningful and uplifting.
Focusing on
what God did for us,
that our Saviour lives
and we are forgiven.
Isn't that the most beautiful gift we could ever receive?!

I had meant to post this but time got away from me.
I do hope your Easter was lovely.

Thursday, May 15, 2014

A goodye too soon

She was frail and possibly one of the loveliest 90 year old ladies I have ever seen.
She was pleasantly confused and oh so sweet. 
We talked about where she lived,
she asked if her husband was still living. 
I told her she was beautiful, I meant it! 
I don't know if she believed me.
She couldn't see well. 
She wanted chocolate boost to drink.
I wasn't ready for our visit to end. 
I held the straw of the little chocolate drink to her lips. 
The  look on her face was similar to the look you see when 
a child is eating their favorite ice cream.
I won't forget that.
 Her small hand on mine as she continued to sip, 
enjoy such a simple pleasure. 
She didn't talk of Jesus that day,
she didn't say she knew she would be going home soon.
We were just two gals having a visit over chocolate boost,
And I didn't want to leave.
There was a peace about this sweet lady...
I wanted to hear stories of her youth,
But she had questions for me and that was more pressing. 
She wanted to know if it was sunny outside,
She wondered what month it was,
What day it was. 
It was Friday, May 9.
She died on that Sunday, Mother's Day.
On Monday when I returned to work,
I heard that
On Saturday she spoke to her nurse about going to meet Jesus soon.
She spoke of angels being all around her. 
She said she was ready. 
She was at peace.
I don't know if I touched her heart, 
I don't know if  she would remember my name?
I do know that kindness is never wasted,
That this lovely, little  90 year old  woman
Sure touched my heart,
And will stay with me for a long time.
It is in these daily interactions where we see 
Where, if we choose to see the tiniest of details, 
We can be forever changed, moved, softened.
I know you are home, 
I know you have peace.
It was so good to meet you while you were here,
Even for such a brief moment in time.
A goodbye said too soon,
But a memory
of a sweet, heart
will remain with me. 


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