Saturday, December 31, 2016

Goodbye 2016

2016 was quite a year for us. 
It brought a lot of change, it brought happy times and many tears. .
we celebrated our oldest son, Ethan as he graduated 
from Branson High School
was accepted to UCM to study acting.
I have seen him grow, change and become a man this year. 
Cameron started body building and we have seen him blossom.
He will be doing some modeling in the year ahead for a local magazine. 
Madison began her Sophomore year and fell in love with game of golf. 
 She tried out and made the Branson High varsity golf team. 
brought a new business for Nate,
One built from an idea, hard work and with friends blessings.
brought the promise of a palliative care team
at Cox in Branson 
that I may possibly once again have the privilege
to hold  hands with the dying, and the grieving 
and somehow make a difference, (my heart was made for this).
brought a cancer diagnosis to Nates Mom (my Mom)
serious illness to my youngest sister.
These things have been difficult, painful and 
have brought many tears...
They have also brought Faith, Hope and Strength
like I have never witnessed.
You have been a rough one in many ways
you have also opened my eyes to beauty 
the power of Prayer, of Love, of Faith.
you leave us with fond memories of silly times, 
laughter, dreams and goals yet to accomplish. 
You gave us 
good friendships, the notion that change is good, 
a strong sense of adventure and more love.
I leave you with this 2016...
You made me stronger. You made me love more, 
You made me understand the power of slowing down 
to just be.
you made me bitter at times, angry and even afraid,
I cursed you, even hated you once in a while 
I leave you with this
you didn't break me, 
you challenged me. You taught me.
You made me stronger. 
So goodbye 2016...
I Look forward to 
with open arms and an open heart
To face what's next.
To love more, do more, dream more, be more. Help more.
Happy New Year
May Gods love light your path. 

Sunday, September 4, 2016


This word,
has been with me a lot lately. 
More than just the word really,  the entire meaning.

Perspective: a particular attitude toward or 
way of regarding something; a point of view.

 When we have things happen around us or to us, 
We react or respond from our own point of view, from where we are.
It is easy looking on the outside to judge how you would respond
or feel, or what you would do in the same experience...
 you're not in the same experience as that person and it's not you. 
I see so many judgmental comments on social media, and it has me thinking...
Can we ever really see other people's perspective? 
I mean we can empathize and sympathize,
but even if we were in the same situation,
 we may react or respond in a completely different way.
My Mom is battling breast cancer, my little cousin just had a heart transplant,
and my oldest has moved away to college.  
These are big things going on in my life right now;
 someone has just lost somebody they love,
 and one of my friends son has left for the military.
Those are hard things to be facing. 
Does that make what I am going through
It's perspective.
It is their perspective, it is my perspective.

We judge others hurts...
Someone has a bad day and we say 
"it could always be worse";
and maybe that is true,
To that person maybe that bad day is bad enough.
Can't we just be there for each other? 
No judgement, No questions,
just be there.

Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Letting go

He is 17.
I call him E.
He made me a mom,
A proud one at that. 
He walked early and talked early
Hated to sleep. 
He loved dinosaurs, Halloween, being on stage
he loved making people laugh. 
He is smart, 
He is a guys guy.
He's tough 
He is busy these days with play rehearsal and college admission paperwork
And making time to just be a teenager. 
In May 2016 My first born will graduate from high school.
He will be going off to college. 
He will be leaving home.
I'm not ready.
I'm struggling.
I'm excited for him and this next chapter of his life,
I am not ready to let go.
How do you let go?
I can't imagine not seeing him every day. 
I can't imagine the quiet, (no drums being played).
Letting go
Is a part of life
I know this in my head
My heart does not understand.
For now I cherish each day,
I may hug a little longer,
He doesn't seem to mind
It has me thinking
Maybe I'm not the only one 
Having a hard time
Letting go.

Friday, September 19, 2014

Parking lot Blessings

   Blessings can be seen anywhere...even in a parking lot at 10pm. 
   I should start by saying that  I am admittedly a bad friend.
 I love my friends dearly, however,  over the years I have been horrible about keeping in touch.
 Life's happenings just seem to take up my day to day
 and I lose time over the little things...
which are the big things.
I am not good at schedules, I am notoriously late,
 I am more of a "fly by your seat" kinda gal.
 So when you run into a friend
while you are picking up your daughter from a volleyball game
 and you get to visit and pray together,
 it is a blessing.
When your friend stops in to your office just to say hello and chat for a few moments,
 it is a blessing. 
 These unplanned moments are some of the most special moments.
I consider myself one of the luckiest girls as I have delightful friends
 that are supportive and love me just the way I am,
flaws and all.
These moments are given to us as gifts. 
 Maybe because God knows our hearts, He knows we want those connections,
yet are not good about making them on our own sometimes,
puts people in the right place at the right time,
to connect with us
  to bless us.
That we can hopefully bless.
So thankful for parking lot blessings.


Sunday, May 25, 2014


I need your help 2014.
I need you to slow down. 
I need you to be kind.
I would like you to be sweet to my children
so they will look back on this year
with happy hearts.

I welcome you to bring us new opportunities.
I want to learn new things this year,
I want to push myself and reach goals,
even the ones that my brain tells me are unattainable.
I want to be brave.
I want to serve more.
I want my children to drink you up and
really taste every minute, to revel in the moments.
 To  let their hearts be full
learn from mistakes that might not be made
if they play it safe.
To help us take chances
to let their HOPE soar.

As we near summer break
I pray over them with a reverent heart,
For grace, for mercy.
I think about my 16 year old driver,
my football player
my girl who wants to do it all...

Let them be little,
Let them have fun,
Let them help others,
Let them be brave,
Let them be safe.
Let them remember to enjoy each second.


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