~15~

Happy Birthday Ethan!!

 

Where has the time gone?

I ask myself this question a lot lately.

My young man is 15 today.

How did that happen?

 

 

About "E"

 He can not wait to drive...for real!

When we take him on our country roads to practice,

 he is safe...

He loves cars!

 

 

He is a hard worker,

He is always willing to help.

 He loves his family...

I don't mean just us, I mean his Grandparents, his Aunts and Uncles,

He adores his Cousins.

 He is kind and compassionate.

 He has amazing blue eyes.

 

 He is one of my favorite dance partners next to his Dad.

He loves music, (all kinds) but especially rock.

He is talented at

 drumming, playing the guitar, acting, and dancing...

He can also take apart just about anything

and

put it back together

just like his Dad.

 

He would tell you he is a country boy through and through.

That he loves this town,

he loves his school.

He lets this photography crazy mama take tons of

  photos of him and he always amazes me

with what he comes up with!

 

 

 

 

 He loved wrestling at a young age just like his Dad

 

 He loves animals.

He caught lizards or frogs almost every day when we lived in Florida.

He loved his go-cart but loves his dirt bike even more.

He wants a motorcycle so bad...

Hate to say it but...

(not gonna happen)

 

He was so excited that he lettered this year in wrestling.

 

He loves organic food, Chiropractic care and holistic healing.

 

He makes us proud every day.  Not because of these things

but

because of Who he is...

 

a loving son, a loyal big brother,

a compassionate friend,

a son of the King...

I am so humbled and happy that I get to watch

 this young man grow up.

That I get to walk along side him

and

that God

has trusted me and his Dad to raise this boy,

this young man

my "E"

 

Happy 15th Birthday Ethan!!!

WE LOVE YOU!

Because sometimes you won't understand...

You won't always understand the decisions we make.

You won't always want to take our advice.

You might not understand why we do some of the things we do.

That is ok, because one day you will.

You'll see why we said no those times we did...

and

you will understand why we worried when you did not.

You will understand one day why...

why

we pushed,

why

we pulled,

why

we didn't give up,

or

back down.

There is no book
no instruction manual,
no way to know
how it will all turn out.

As Parents you follow your heart,
pray a whole lot
 and trust
that all the love you feel
will overflow into each and every decision you make.
That all the good that you feel
 about this young person,
 will help them to grow and
enable them become
who they are to be in this big world.

 Being a parent is a gift.
It is love times infinity and then some.
It is hard work, a ton of fun, sleepless nights and
memories to warm your toes on a cold winters day.
I know that I have made mistakes and will make so many more...
But the one truth is this~
I will fight for you, I will always have your back
I will love you no matter what,
and that you can be sure.
No matter if we agree or not,
I only want the best for you and will always
guard your heart.

[i carry your heart with me(i carry it in]

By E. E. Cummings 1894–1962

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in

my heart)i am never without it(anywhere

i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done

by only me is your doing,my darling)

i fear

no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want

no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)

and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing is you

 

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows

higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

 

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

This is, and always has been my favorite poem.  I know it is a love poem...
but isn't parenting the greatest kind of love
there is?!

Have a lovely Thursday friends!
 

 

When you can't fix it

 

A lot of living has been going on over here...

hence the lack of posts in recent days.

Many comings and goings and

out and abouts.

We have had play rehearsals and opening day,

wrestling practices, trap team meetings and

last soccer games of the season.

We have had homework, job searching,

Thanksgiving planning

and loving on Grandma who is here visiting.

With all that living,

there are things happening that

I can't fix,

things that I have no control over,

that is not always easy for a mama.

We have had "missing our Nathan",

 growing up and first heartbreaks..

While Nathan has been away, I have been strong,

haven't always wanted to be,

but managed to put on a brave

face most days and forge ahead for our little family.

When I put my mind to something, I can usually

accomplish most things.

There are some things,however, I can't fix.

Like a broken heart, or

unkindness from others that

my children have to see in the world.

That, I have no control of.

I can't "fix" peoples feelings,

or lack of.

That is hard to swallow but the truth.

My children will know heartbreak,

they have faced bullies,

they have seen how unkind some can be.

I am grateful that they have also seen much love

in their short lives.

They have witnessed lovliness too,

like

great compassion,  forgiveness and true friendship.

While they learn how to cope with all the feelings that are

stirring about in them,

I pray that they keep the faith

that people are good, full of hope and

sometimes are going through more then the eye can see.

I pray that they don't harden their hearts...

that they allow light and love in

always.

It is hard to watch your children face

things that leave them shaken...
I know in my head that these are life's lessons
that they must learn,
and that in the end they will be ok.

however, right at this moment

Loving them and

being there to listen and offer a shoulder is all I can do,

along with reminding my children that

God and His love are the foundation for which we stand upon,

and that is as solid as can be.

That with God's love we can heal, grow and be comforted.
To say...
 "be brave and live your life with an open heart
and don't be afraid to truly live".

 

 

 

 

 

 



The realization

My kiddos aren't babies anymore!  If you read my blog,  you see photos of my 3 precious wishes often, you know they are not babies anymore.  My mind knows they are not babies anymore...my heart has yet to be made aware of this simple fact.
    We have a rhythm as a family. A dance that everyone knows the steps to.  Our daughter Madi wants us to have another baby, I have wanted another baby.  Today I can say that I like where we are as a family.   We are blessed with our brood. We know each others moods, each others dance steps.  It is really something, this little family of mine. With Ethan turning 14, securing his place as a teen, it has me ever more remembering when my ones were little.  Having a teen is so rewarding and challenging at the same time.  Having to discuss those hard topics like sex, drugs and alcohol. Our children need to know where we stand on those things, and they do, because we discuss it.  These are tough things to talk about right? But imagine Not talking about these things.
   I won't always be the popular parent but that is ok. Staying true to what Nate and I think is the best thing for our kiddos is so important.  Don't misunderstand, I love hearing what works for other parents also.  With God's guidance, we are raising our 3 wishes the way He wants us to raise them.  Saying NO has actually become easier then I thought because I really see now what is at stake.  I don't want to live in fear about how I am raising my children but I also believe in my heart that it is the most important thing I will ever do in my life.  I agonize, I pray I breath.
   I know they won't always believe in the tooth fairy but right now Madi does and it is precious to me.  I want them to be kids while they are kids because life happens so fast and they grow so very fast.  Ethan is going to be a freshman...high school, he was just a baby. Hold tight to your little ones, enjoy every moment, good, bad, frustrating or joyous because in a blink, they are grown up.
   I am reading a book called The Blessing.  It is amazing. I rarely make the time to read but this book had to be read.  I would recommend it to all parents.
I pray that as you tuck your babies in tonight, that as you pray over them, you have a  peace in your heart knowing God has you covered in his loving grace.  Have a lovely weekend lovelies.  God Bless!!!




 

Letting them grow

Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.
Proverbs 22:6 NIV

It is a tough thing...letting my children grow and go.  Ethan will be 14 in March, Cameron is 12 and Madison is 10, and I often think where did the time go? But I remember all the smiles, the hurts, the giggles, the silly faces, the dancing.
This weekend Ethan is traveling almost 4 hours away to a Christian Conference and I am a mess.  I have prayed for days for guidance in whether we should allow him to go or not.  Then all the signs pointed to "Mama it is time to let him grow" (go).
God is so good about giving us those signs, those nudges. I, on the other hand, am not always good about heeding to His nudges.
I am one of those over protective Mama's, I have taken heat for that, but isn't that my job?  I know God holds our children in His loving care and protection. I know that it is also my job to allow our children to grow, to blossom into the people they are to become, however, this is tough stuff.  Isn't this the most important thing I will ever do, is raise these precious gifts?

So while Ethan is at this conference, learning more about the Lord and strengthening his walk with God, I too am learning how to be brave, how to let go and how to rely more on God for all things...even the care of my 3 Wishes.