Giving up, Giving in, Giving to

   I am the mama of three precious ones.  They are not babies anymore but let's face it...aren't they forever our babies.  When I see one of my kiddos hurting, it hurts my heart so deeply that I would do anything to make them feel better.  My amazingly sweet 12 year old Cameron is at this moment in a dark place, in a world wind of hormones and it hurts to watch.  He is moody, argumentative and so down sometimes.  It literally breaks this mama's heart. I love this kid beyond words, he is an awesome human being.

I catch him deep in thought and I want to protect him, shield his little heart so that he doesn't hurt inside. He thinks deeply of others and has the most sensitive soul. I see glimpses of my little Camo....When he is helping others, when we are talking about his day, when he is being silly with his friends.  I know that what he is going through is just "a part of growing up" but knowing that fact doesn't make me feel better.

Do you have a pre-teen, or a teen?  I know this is temporary but oh my goodness how it hurts to see the angst in my boy.  How does a precious kid go from letting others know he is praying for them and show others so much love, to thinking no one likes him and everything in his life is so bad?  

It is so difficult to watch but here is the thing. As I see it I have three options here, we can give up, we can give in, or we can give to. Here is my thinking behind this.  We can give up on our precious son which really is not an option but I do know it happens. We can give up on talking with him and supporting him and trying to help, trying to raise his little spirit. Point him to God and God's will for him and let him know this is temporary and it will get better. We could throw up our hands and just hope it gets better as he passes through this phase of growing up. The second option is that we could give in. We could give in to Cameron's will, like when he is moping because he wants something and we say no, or if he has homework to do but doesn't want to do it, and then it becomes a "life is so bad" moment. If you know Cameron, you know that he is not a spoiled child, that isn't a normal behaviour for him, but right now he sure can behave as if he is, by his attitude.  We could cater to his will and his attitude and ignore that he is being mean to his sister or disrespectful. This is really not an option either.  I see this happen a lot with kids this age, parents don't know what to do so they say yes to things that they normally wouldn't say yes to.  My last option is to give to. To give to Cameron what he really needs right now.  He needs guidance, understanding, an open and willing ear to really listen and hear what he is trying to say.  To be sensitive to what he is feeling. 

As I write this I am so aware that this seems so simple and...You may be thinking, who would ever give up on their child?  But as a social worker and teacher, I am sad to say that I have seen just that, I am sure you have also. There are days when I feel lost as to what to do.  Parents don't always know what to say or what to do...I certainly don't always know what to say or do. That's ok, just don't give up!!

God shows us how to parent our children in His Word.  I have to heed to His teachings and know that Cameron will be ok as long as Nate and I guide him on the right path and continue to give to Cameron what he needs: Love, Patience, Understanding, and Time!!! This is not always easy especially when your child is being so difficult. But, remember they are probably feeling broken. This is such a difficult time for children.  There is so much going on in the world, we need to continue to let them know that while we are in this world, We have a higher purpose to fulfill. 

We are to be a light for others to see.  It is my privilege to raise this unique young man and let his voice be heard. This is the most important job I will ever do. It is the job I love the most. It is the reason God made me. How can I ever give up on such a purpose,  I hope this is a light for someone out there who may have a young teen who is growing into the person they are to become, but struggling at the same time.  It is up to us to light their way and be the strong wall for them to lean on when they feel weak.

I know Cameron knows how much we all love him, he lets us know too that he loves us, I get a huge hug and a heartfelt apology after one of Cameron's "moments".  I thank God for those moments when my son comes back to me and I know it is all ok.  This is a kid trying to grow up and manage everything that is happening inside of him.  And so I pray God continues to guide us so that we can guide Cameron on the path where God wants him to be. Happy!!!