Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Being there, or backing up...but always listening


     Yesterday was like any other day for the Shaffer Family...We went to work, school, did homework, attended Ethan's track meet, it was a home meet which was wonderful because we also had Cameron and Madison's Sports Banquet last evening. A busy day...which for us is almost every day.  I am not complaining at all, just processing.  Nate and I managed to be there for it all yesterday.  We watched E take 5th in pole vault, and we made it to the award ceremony to celebrate Cameron being on the JV Basketball team and Madi being Co-Captain of the JV Cheer Squad this year.
     I couldn't sleep last night thinking about the day.  We were a little late getting to the Award Ceremony but the food was still being served so it was ok.  But I can't help but thinking what if....What if I had to make a choice between my children's events. I know people do it all the time, we can't be there for everything, but I sure want to be.
        I am thinking about this because my poor Cameron, God Bless him, is so emotional some days he doesn't know what to do with himself.  Quite honestly,  I don't know what to do some days.  I pray a lot.  He didn't even want to go the award ceremony at first.  He had a bad day and didn't want to talk about it.  He didn't really want to be at Ethan's track meet either.  You could tell he just wasn't happy in his own skin.
      When we got home last night, I had so much to do...but my heart ached for Cameron. I  went upstairs and told him we needed to have a talk. We went unplugged last night, no video games, no t.v. just time together to talk. He shared about his day, He was apologetic for his bad mood. He was a different kid, as he talked, I could see his mood change slowly. This is a weekly thing, these moods, I can tell  he is trying so hard to figure it all out.  I want to help so much, but I know some of this he also has to figure out for himself. These pains, these growing pains are so painful to watch. Those of you with preteens and teens, do you agree?
      I know that Cameron will get through this, I know that this is what children go through. I think it is so important to listen to them. Even when nothing positive is coming out of their mouths. They need to talk, to be heard.  I realize they need space too, but isn't that the art of parenting...finding the balance? Knowing when to be right there, and when to back up a bit and give them some room to work it out on their own?  Each child is so different in how they deal with stress and life situations. It is finding what works for each individual.  That takes some work, our attention.
 Cameron fell asleep last night with a little smile knowing today would be a brighter day and knowing he can trust us to talk about anything and we will listen, and love him through it.  It is something getting to know my children better and better each day.  They are changing so quickly right before my eyes. It is such a blessing being their Mom. I know I make mistakes but nothing to bad I pray.

1 comment:

Tesha said...

This is so sweet i know how you feel. Teenage boys can be tricky. I know I mess up also but like you pray not to bad :)

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