Friday, October 14, 2011

The Line of Scrimmage

I tend to analyze everything.  A fault some would say, and that is ok.  The line of scrimmage: a contest between two teams from the time the ball is snapped until it is declared dead.  Tonight I was sitting at the football game  thinking how much the game is like life.  We put our game face on and we go onto the field...we face the the other team and wait for the snap. The other team, people, everyday...who would rather plow through us then to sit and really get to know us.
And then there are our teammates, our family and friends that lift us up and that have our backs. We are running towards the "end" zone.  For what?  The goal. I don't want to have a game face, I want to be transparent. I don't want to run towards the goal...
              I want to mosey on over.  I want to be real and true to myself and others. To be able to share who I am... To say I am a Mom that still watches and waits as her 13 year old son actually walks through the door of his school each morning and that most mornings I still weep as I drive away, knowing he is not my baby anymore. To share that I am a Mom who wants her kids to live at home during college.  That I pray over them every night that God would reveal to them His will and that they would heed to His call.  That I adore them beyond anything I could have ever imagined.  That even on the days when I think I can not do it all, they are the ones who make me believe that I can.  That I have so many fears even though I know God can and will work it all out. That I have missed my husband so much that some days it is litteraly difficult to breathe. That I haven't seen my sisters in six years and I know I have let them down more than I can even think about.  That I have had such a big place in my heart for single Moms since my hubby has been away.  That I am not as strong as people think. That in fear, I agonized over starting my blog and then my heart dropped when I wrote my first post, and I knew I was hooked.  That I really want people to share with me their own stories, through this blog.
That I feel selfish even taking the time to write because it is something just for me.  Everyday is game day....We show up, suit up and hopefully play our hearts out.
                                          Have a wonderful Friday....It is time to play!

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