picture courtesy of Pinterest
I think I have said this more than once... but I guess it bears repeating, if to no one else but myself. It is always a delicate dance that happens when Nate returns home. I am in no way making this a negative thing, but my blog comes from my heart and this is on my heart. Imagine you are slow dancing and both people try to lead...you get tangled up, maybe even trip and fall. My husband is the leader of our family, but when he is away, I naturally take the lead. When Nate is away our children depend on me for everything...I mean they are helpful but you know how kids and teenagers are, and I have to admit, I am one of those Moms that want to do as much for them as I can while they are young. There is so much to do and I am the one to do it...Again, I am not complaining just painting a picture. It is an adjustment to step back and let him take the lead again. It is an adjustment for us all, not just me. I imagine how hard it is for Nate to jump in and not feel like he is stepping on my toes. Nate was loading the dishwasher the other night and I stopped him and told him he needed to wash them first, he looked at me puzzeled, I told him the dishwasher hasn't been working very well lately, I hadn't mentioned it to him because he was away. So then he felt bad because he didn't know that. Even the kids have to adjust because it isn't just me helping with homework, making breakfast, answering questions, or praying over our family. Today I was thinking about if service wives and husbands feel the same way when their loves return home. I feel sad that Nate has missed so much over the last few years....I am sad for my children too. I pray they understand that all the decisions we make are to better their lives in some way. They are our world. I am blessed with children that don't complain much and go with the flow. I am so proud of them for that. I pray that they know they can depend on me, their Dad, and God.
I know Nate is home for good, I can breathe, I can almost relax...but today it almost feels like grieving for someone I have lost...But I know he is here now and I am so grateful for that. I know in my heart that God has a plan for our lives and sometimes we don't know what that plan is...I trust that God has good things in store for my family even though things are uncertain right now. I trust God. I hold on to the blessing of a new day and another chance to dance with the love of my life.