where i am

Ernest Hemingway wrote...
"Write hard and clear about what hurts".
i was inspired by this quote today.

i am affected deeply by my surroundings.

i am down lately...
i am lacking an inner peace

in this time of my life,
 but
 i am grateful.

It is difficult to watch suffering at the hospital 

and not feel guilty for feeling blue.

My children are healthy, as is my love...

for that i am thankful beyond measure.

They are my life.

i am on new terrain, a new stomping ground

that i don't yet understand.

i feel like i am between the stages

 of a

 caterpillar and a butterfly,
wildly flailing about.

It is dark and lonely and quiet.

i reflect a lot these days

on 

forgiveness
 and 
time lost,

on allowing my littles to grow 

and

wanting to hold on so tightly...

that they would never leave. 
These precious three
entrusted into my care and watchful eye.
How quickly does the time pass,
and knowing this
the anxiety fills me, 
until i feel i could break.
i say to father time, slow down please.